if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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