I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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