Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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