Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize