I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
