This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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