allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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