I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
soo... how was my night?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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