is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
