i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
