I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
