But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
