I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
A bitchslap is in order.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
