Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
