Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
