So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Randomize