ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Randomize