Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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