thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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