TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
