my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
