I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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