He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
