He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
