Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
did you just send me my own nude
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
