grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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