apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
