I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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