I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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