Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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