i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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