For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
be right there i have to get my cape
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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