Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
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