remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
