at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
