I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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