i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
