yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
