My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
