Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
