my being single is dangerous.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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