Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
