just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
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