Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
BRING THE BAGELS
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
