did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
