I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just gift wrapped bread.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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