just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
