Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Just high enough for therapy.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
