Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
