how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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