4 words: hood of his car
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Found the puke drawer
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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