I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
