Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
