I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
