i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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