i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
BRING THE BAGELS
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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