when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize