Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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