Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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