Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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